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F.A.Q.

Q1 - Pedophilia defined

What is pedophilia?

We use "pedophilia" to mean a strong and persistent sexual attraction to prepubescent children or those in the early stages of puberty. (Some scientists separate out attraction to children who have begun puberty under the separate term "hebephilia".)

Note what we did not say.  We do not use pedophile to refer to men who have sexual contact with children; we use the term to refer to men who have a strong sexual attraction to children.

Q2 - Pedophilia and child abuse are not the same

But isn’t this a distinction without a difference? Aren’t all pedophiles child molesters, or ticking time bombs who will inevitably molest children?

No!

Many people with a predominant sexual attraction to children never engage in sexual activity with children.

The founding members of this organization have never touched a child for sexual reasons. There are many men with pedophilia who are like us in their commitment to living good, responsible, law-abiding lives. This website is for those men.

Q3 - Causes of pedophilia

What causes pedophilia?

The short answer is that no one knows. In general, science has yet to explain why men have the sexual preferences they have. And the science of why some men are sexually attracted to children has been especially slow to make progress. We do not think it matters much for our purposes, beyond the fact that no one chooses to have pedophilia, and no one knows how to make pedophilic preferences go away.

Q4 - We have no secret agenda

Isn’t your secret agenda to make it OK for adults to have sex with children?

No. We believe that sexual activity between adults and children is wrong. Some pedophiles argue it should be accepted, but we disagree and think their arguments should be greeted skeptically due to the self-interest involved.

Q5 - Our organization's goals

So what do you want?

We want society to recognize that we are not monsters lurking behind bushes waiting to pounce on unsuspecting children, that many of us are good people who have a sexual attraction that we did not choose and cannot change, but are capable of controlling. Not only are pedophiles capable of being good people, many of us are good people.

Q6 - Why you should care about pedophiles

Why should anyone but a pedophile care about pedophiles?

It could be your son.

According to the best available evidence, most pedophiles first become aware of their condition in their early teens. We start like everyone else. We first become attracted to kids who are our own age. As we grow older, however, the objects of our attraction do not. Gradually we become aware of our condition. Believing the popular wisdom that we are evil and will inevitably abuse children, many of us experience depression, self-loathing and sometimes become suicidal.

If you had a teenage son who was unfortunate enough to have pedophilia, is that the kind of life that you would want for him? Wouldn’t you rather that he understand that he can’t be evil simply because he has a sex drive that he didn’t choose and can’t change; that he doesn’t have to act on that sex drive; and that there are resources available to help him manage it and lead a happy, productive, law-abiding life? Wouldn't you want people to judge him based on the life he chooses to live and not based on his having certain feelings that he successfully resists? Wouldn't you want your son to accept, and to love, himself? If your answers to these questions are "yes," then our organization is also for you, even if you do not know (or do not think you know) anyone with pedophilia.